Honest Light

by Small Parks

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released May 2, 2016

All songs written and performed by Small Parks

Small Parks is:
Danny Petrilli - bass, vocals
James Radick - vocals, guitar
Dave Shilakes - drums
Josh Talo - guitar

Most instruments tracked by Jacob Lee in his basement in Lakewood, OH
All vocals and additional instruments tracked by Ryan Wert at Elm Street Recording in Lansing, MI
Mixed & Mastered by Mark Michalik



all rights reserved


Small Parks Michigan

Music band from Michigan.

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Track Name: Oakland
Sometimes it gets so chaotic - I can't control how I'm feeling
I'll be with people that love me and feel like they're all against me
I'll try my best to get past it, and look for ways to find comfort
I try to think of my progress, but I just come up empty

A six day visit to Oakland derailed by different opinions
A lack of communication; frustration displayed through tied tongues
Corrosion rots an exterior - suppressed thoughts creep their way through
Shit that I did in high school with the door locked in the bathroom

Now I'm crying on the corner outside Souley Vegan, trying to explain to my brother why I feel like this

I'm trying to make things clearer
I'm trying to let you know that what I've tried to forget are things I've tried to block out
I know you said you'd be there, I know you said I could talk to you to try to help me work out what I can't do by myself

I get it, you mean it
I get it, believe it

I wish I wasn't like this
I wish I'd let you help me
But I'm not sure what I'm feeling
Just that I'm struggling
Track Name: $5 Words
These could be delusions, I'm feeling excluded
Maybe I've had too many beers
This could be the distance or just indecision
It's no surprise to hear I'm insecure
I'm placing emphasis on remaining restless instead of confronting my fears
I've touted conviction while shifting with the wind
I ran from what I could not endure

It feels like we're drifting my thoughts could be fleeting
But we don't even speak anymore
If that's it after all then where does the line fall?
We're suddenly oddly taciturn
I've harbored this anger but I want to belong here
My mind is something that I abhor
I've coveted community and wrestled with anxiety
I'm frozen when my passion once burned

I made a promise to myself
The words seem unfamiliar now
So I stopped dreaming and seeking help
And now I'll never be let down
It's hard to chase what you've never known
While struggling with self-control
It's the escape, and it feels like home
'Cause I let everything else go
Track Name: Choices You've Made
Shed the skin that you've known
Find meaning in letting go

Consider what it's worth to keep living this way
Is it unsettling facing choices you've made?

It's painful but it's essential; pinpoint the source of your problems

This might not work out but you can't be sure
Without facing fear and the things you've known
Up until this point you've kept your eyes closed
Kept your fists clenched tight to be certain
A little bit of doubt might set you free
Confusion can steer you towards clarity

There's pain that you've kept hidden beneath skin
Tore apart your flesh just to scratch an itch
Replaced sickness with stories untrue
Until you lost the person that you were
You can live on engulfed in fallacy
If happiness is something you don't seek
Track Name: Sheets
I’d fallen in love with eye contact and tattoos
I altered myself to be a little more your hue
These bad habits pile up depending on my mood
But my taste is cheap, and I can get home without you
Keep lying through that pretty smile
I’ll believe every word if it gets me in your sheets
It’s clear to see that I’m the one to blame here
Because I let it go on when I knew that it was not true

You were the mystery I could not solve
A broken chord left unresolved
But I can play the victim well
It’s a testament to my destructive streak

It’s the sense of guilt that keeps me up at night
Because I’ve let you this far along and leaving does not seem right
But maybe you’ll have some better luck next time
With someone who doesn’t think too much or over-analyze
Track Name: Restless
Sometimes you want to feel good - sometimes you need some body heat, and a chance to forget things.

And before you ever know it you're in a new place with new perspectives
And you're feeling uneasy, cause you're falling in love when you shouldn't be.
And you'll run out of excuses when the one you love's not with you.
And you're feeling uneasy, mistaking others with what you need.

You'll realize you're not growing - you're just getting comfortable with age and feeling stuck in the same place

And you'll sight of your dreams, and your concept of a family
You can leave it all behind
You can try to start a new one
You can try to fill the place of the people who accept you
But decisions that you've made will one day catch up with you

You can only run for so long - can't keep blaming those who've done you wrong
Can't just ignore the flaws inside you and cover scars with tattoos

You can try to hide what you are - you can lie and say you've done alright
Or you can look at yourself in an honest light
Track Name: To Fit Better in a Room
I'm no longer wasting time feeling sorry for myself, or thinking I'm not enough.
I want to make a difference while I still can in the lives of the people around me
So I've said goodbye to the nights I'd spend with a six dollar pint of whiskey
And now I'm trying to face my shortcomings, cause distractions won't send them away

I've got some things to take ownership of, like a lack of maturity.
Cause I still storm of without warning when I need to get away

And it makes me realize that moving on is not the same as forgetting
I think back to hiding in fear of what I'd realize about myself
But I'm still guilty of altering myself to fit better in a room
Though I now know when I am lying, and that honesty just won't come easy

And it's not about the promises that you have made to yourself as much as it's about commitment to take things as they come

And it took a long time to get there.
I'm still not sure what it all means
But I can't shut down when I'm feeling a lack of security
I'll hold myself to a higher standard and try to ask for what I need
I am through with romanticizing my self-destructive tendancies
Track Name: There All Along
It's the job of a sinner to put commitment to test
To pin distrust onto lovers, to force divide amongst
To pay for bonds that were broken, to make sure that others know
Resentment grows when it lingers, and some things can't be untold

Why bother saying it's wrong
It's just conflicted emotion unsure of where it belongs
No use to fight something so strong
Direction takes desperation which was there all along

Delicate things will be broken despite how safely they're kept
Surroundings won't be a factor, safety ignored by intent
Value will not be respected, in spite of what you respect
Love can't be placed in a vacuum and be expected to thrive

Temptation needs to be wanted, desire can't be ignored
It's not what was expected, but you're completely involved

Why bother saying it's wrong
It's just conflicted emotion unsure of where it belongs
No use to fight something so strong
Direction takes desperation which was there all along
Track Name: Defined
Childish insults thrown about casually
Ignorant to all the pain they can bring
I wasn't sure how they'd relate to me
Became aware when I was seventeen
I thought about telling my family
Explored instead through infidelity
Several years later a casual fling
But it wasn't fair - not to them, not to me

It was easier to kid myself - be a hedonist and nothing else
Sneak away to a stranger's house and never speak a word of it

Kept quiet 'cause I didn't know how to deflect what I could not control
How to make sense of what I wrestled with
How I felt, what it meant, where to go

I'd think about how much had changed, while other things still felt the same
I couldn't make much sense of it, and struggled with identity

I wasn't sure what to expect - I hadn't found much comfort yet
The truth that I'd eventually find was in never being defined

I'm not gonna say that I'm sure that I know myself, but I've learned that you can't suppress that things that you're feeling
I can't say I fall on a side of any spectrum
I'm feeling okay with that now, but it took some time to get there
Track Name: Sorry, Dad
We could hit the road and not look bad
Sleep each night on our friends' couches
Establish our own way of living
With basement shows and vegan potlucks

But what if this does not work out?
Will I sell my gear and settle down?
Get a real job and leave the Midwest
Maybe I'll have some better luck somewhere

I know most folks won't understand why I quit school and play in a band
And maybe make ten bucks a gig
I defaulted on my student loans to sing along at my friends' shows
I learned more about the world that way