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Meet Me in Cognito

by Small Parks

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1.
Undone 03:26
If I could take it all back would it matter? If I could learn to be patient would it last? I withdrew out of pity I'll stay away for you I sank it to comfort And I got used to the air But confronted with resistance I acted as I always do I'll put these walls back up And step out of this light It's too much attention For one man to get If I could just get past it Resist desire for neglect Will I still shudder at your smile? Will I ask you if we're happy yet? Chaos isn't comfort And comfort isn't love I'm trying to find a balance Can this damage be undone?
2.
3.
Maybe one day I'll end the lies Make amends for all the times that I did not try I slipped these secrets underneath my bed The child in me thought the monsters would get them I'm a vessel for things best forgotten I've gotten used to this pit in my stomach I can't look you in the eyes And try to fix with you what I have come to know of me I'll calmly embrace the facts from your past But I can't play my role intimately I'm afraid of letting go To lose the comfort I have found in shifting positions Now you'll lay awake thinking that you scared the first man you could trust But your love was not enough to find something inside myself, conceive consistency I stay inside my head (and keep myself bitter) I know I'm at my worst alone I'll try to feel something at my own discretion And try not to waiver in tone It's not that I'm broken (or find pieces missing) I'm trying to stay in control I'm conscious, I'm present, yet full of resentment But sometimes a scar is just for show
4.
Let's pretend this never happened And we never had to be what was expected We'll stop being our past selves Resist the urge to borrow from pages Because I can't compete with the image you have built up of me And I'm bound to repeat the tired habits that left me stagnant I'm still afraid of love How easy it is to become unraveled How misguided I can be How quickly I can lose all I have worked for The secrets I've defended are bursting at the seams of me And I'm beginning to believe I'm destined to be bound in retrogression I'll always the reflect the faulted features that I've seemed to inherit I misunderstood the consequence of falling hard just like I always seem to
5.
I used to think I had such potential A mind to mold, a foundation to build on But I left that all behind, the memories seem hazy And the shell is not the whole, the parts themselves are worthless I don't know just how the ground came out beneath me Was it the divorce, or giving up on love? But I still see the expectations in the eyes of my loved one And the pain I feel to know that I'm not what they planned for So here I am I'm surrounded by all my friends And I just want to be at home, all alone I know it's not for the best, but this front makes me so depressed But when I'm on my own I know why I embrace it I hate myself for my goddamn pride I'll be okay, or so I say But I've got these fears that I can't shake And I may die that way I wonder now if I can reclaim what I started

about

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released April 1, 2013

Small Parks is:
Danny Petrilli - bass, vocals, drums
James Radick - vocals, guitar
Josh Talo - guitar

Tracked, mixed, and mastered by Jake Kalmink.
Additional vocals by Lalita Chemello, Vanessa DeCouto, Jake Kalmink, and Maddi Smith.

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Small Parks Michigan

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