Meet Me in Cognito

by Small Parks

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03:26
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about

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released 01 April 2013
Small Parks is Danny Petrilli, James Radick, Matthew Restorff, and Josh Talo.
Tracked, mixed, and mastered by Jake Kalmink.
Additional vocals by Lalita Chemello, Vanessa DeCouto, Jake Kalmink, and Maddi Smith.

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Track Name: Undone
If I could take it all back would it matter?
If I could learn to be patient would it last?
I withdrew out of pity
I'll stay away for you
I sank it to comfort
And I got used to the air
But confronted with resistance
I acted as I always do

I'll put these walls back up
And step out of this light
It's too much attention
For one man to get

If I could just get past it
Resist desire for neglect
Will I still shudder at your smile?
Will I ask you if we're happy yet?
Chaos isn't comfort
And comfort isn't love
I'm trying to find a balance
Can this damage be undone?
Track Name: Shifting Positions
Maybe one day I'll end the lies
Make amends for all the times that I did not try
I slipped these secrets underneath my bed
The child in me thought the monsters would get them

I'm a vessel for things best forgotten
I've gotten used to this pit in my stomach
I can't look you in the eyes
And try to fix with you what I have come to know of me
I'll calmly embrace the facts from your past
But I can't play my role intimately
I'm afraid of letting go
To lose the comfort I have found in shifting positions

Now you'll lay awake thinking that you scared the first man you could trust
But your love was not enough to find something inside myself, conceive consistency

I stay inside my head (and keep myself bitter)
I know I'm at my worst alone
I'll try to feel something at my own discretion
And try not to waiver in tone
It's not that I'm broken (or find pieces missing)
I'm trying to stay in control
I'm conscious, I'm present, yet full of resentment
But sometimes a scar is just for show
Track Name: Retrogression
Let's pretend this never happened
And we never had to be what was expected
We'll stop being our past selves
Resist the urge to borrow from pages
Because I can't compete with the image you have built up of me
And I'm bound to repeat the tired habits that left me stagnant

I'm still afraid of love
How easy it is to become unraveled
How misguided I can be
How quickly I can lose all I have worked for

The secrets I've defended are bursting at the seams of me
And I'm beginning to believe I'm destined to be bound in retrogression
I'll always the reflect the faulted features that I've seemed to inherit
I misunderstood the consequence of falling hard just like I always seem to
Track Name: Everything Is Part of It
I used to think I had such potential
A mind to mold, a foundation to build on
But I left that all behind, the memories seem hazy
And the shell is not the whole, the parts themselves are worthless

I don't know just how the ground came out beneath me
Was it the divorce, or giving up on love?
But I still see the expectations in the eyes of my loved one
And the pain I feel to know that I'm not what they planned for

So here I am
I'm surrounded by all my friends
And I just want to be at home, all alone
I know it's not for the best, but this front makes me so depressed
But when I'm on my own I know why I embrace it

I hate myself for my goddamn pride
I'll be okay, or so I say
But I've got these fears that I can't shake
And I may die that way

I wonder now if I can reclaim what I started